She's been 'mother' to 35 children
Glenda Luymes
The Province Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The first time he asked, Veronica Necemer said no. She was caring for five teens already.

But when a police officer came to her door in February with the 14-year-old boy in tow, she couldn't say no any more. She gave him a place to stay, but he had to abide by her rules. The first rule: No gang involvement.

"He knew it was a rule to live here, and he was willing -- for a while," she recounts.

An aboriginal support worker in Abbotsford, Necemer is also the mother of one biological son, three adopted teens and, at the moment, two "community kids" who need a place to stay. Over the years, she's been called "mom" by a total of 35 kids and "grandma" by 50 more.

"I know what it is to be so alone and insignificant that no one would know or care if you were hurt or dead. I can't walk away from someone who reaches out with that need," she says.

But she's not easy to live with.

"I expect effort and structure and respect, and I do not give sympathy. I challenge individuals to do what they can do," she says.

After repeatedly breaking Necemer's rules, the 14-year-old boy eventually went to live with his dad.

Necemer won't admit defeat -- everyone is responsible for the choices they make, after all -- but she does speak about the boy with some regret. And she vows to continue to do her best.

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IN HER OWN WORDS

"I could never do what I do without help and support. From my son and his friends, and my little ones, to the businesses in the community that give me a break on prices. From the people who give the kids clothes and shoes, which I can pay for as I get the money, to the friend who owns a laundromat who will do multiple loads of laundry so I am not overwhelmed. To friends who will listen when I'm frustrated or angry or worried or exhausted. To everyone who makes me laugh and everyone who prays for me."

- Veronica Necemer