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KIDS |
"Have you ever thought about the difference between talking with and talking to someone? Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being - well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance."We all know the difference but sometimes as parents we get so caught up with the point we want to make that we end up talking to instead of talking with our kids. The bad news here is kids also know the difference. If you don't give them the opportunity to take part in the conversation they will likely tune you out or worse yet, they won't feel as if they can initiate a conversation with you because they'll feel like they can't talk with you. Communication is an important key to keeping children safe. Keeping this in mind, we've put together a list of topics and internet links with advice on how to talk to your child about them as well as a few just for you. Of course it's all just reference material, you have to figure out what works for you. Don't be afraid to try something new! Topics & Resources Preteenagers Today - Covers a lot of territory, bullying, discipline and more. There are also sections for different ages.Reader's Digest Canada, Is your child safe in school - Escalating violence in Canadian school yards has too many children going to school scared. Family Service Canada - "Family Service Canada prepares and distributes resources designed to assist and strengthen people..." Safety Tips for Parents - A Guide to Help Prevent Child Abduction. Bully B'ware - Bullying hurts and keeps on hurting. Program against bullying. Bullying - You are not alone. Surf with your child. Safety on the Internet - "...tips, advice and suggestions to make your family's online experience fun and productive!" 10 Ways To Make Sure Your Child Uses Drugs - (Yes, you read that right!) Child Violence - "How to Prevent Your Child from Becoming a Statistic." Learning Network, Family Education - A site full of information for parents. C.O.S.T. - Children against smoking tobacco. Surf with your child. Talking with kids - Ways to talk to your child about all of those issues we can't wait to address with them, sex, drugs, alcohol, tobacco...
It's pretty common for us as parents to expect turbulence once our children hit their teen years. The good news is that most parents and teens continue to have great relationships! Not that there aren't times that we perceive them as being rebellious but we often confuse rebelliousness with our child's attempt to gain their independence and begin to take control of their lives. It's important to allow this to happen as when they hit that magical age of "adult", we expect them to be able to take care of themselves. Of course this will lead to some conflicts. Learning to handle conflict is an important lesson for your teen. You must be able to help them with this lesson. Practice self-control, discuss the pros and cons of the issue and be willing to change your point of view. Remember that even tough your teen is struggling with her own independence, she still relies on you for guidance. Your teen may not admit it but she needs you to set limits for her behaviour! She will need the opportunity to practice making decisions that affect her life and as a result she'll make mistakes as well as many great accomplishments. Each mistake or accomplishment can be an invaluable lesson. Unfortunately there's no magic spell you can use when it comes to your relationship with your teen. Be willing to try a new approach when the one you're using isn't working and maybe you'll stumble across the one that works magic for you. Here are a few tips to help you foster a good relationship with your teen. Treat your teen with respect. How can you teach respect if you don't give it? Spend time together - Believe it or not, most teens want to spend time with their parents. They just don't want you tagging along to the prom! Talk about your teen's interests and concerns - How often do your own interest and concerns change? Well news flash, it's the same for your teen. Don't assume that your teen feels the same way about things that she did when she was ten! Talking "with" your teen is the only way of really knowing her. Talk with your teen. "Have you ever thought about the difference between talking with and talking to someone? Talking with someone puts you and the other person on an even footing. It gives more than one person a chance to express a belief or opinion. Talking to someone, on the other hand, is being - well, patronizing, or worse, domineering, even tyrannical. So only one person has a chance" (NEA's, Tools you can use) Share your feelings and concerns with your teen. You'll be amazed at the reaction you'll get when you treat your teen with this type of respect. This is not to say that your teen needs to know everything you are worried about but sharing some things with her will make your relationship stronger. She'll remember that you trusted her enough to share something that was uncomfortable or important for you with her. Maybe when she's faced with a "situation" she'll feel like she's able to talk with you! Don't pass judgment on your teen. Be supportive. We've all made mistakes and we all have to learn to live and deal with them. Learn to Listen, really listen. Sometimes when your teen is talking with you she's not looking for any answers or cures. We get into the habit of trying to fix things. It's OK to give your teen a hug and say, "It really stinks that that happened to you. I love you." You can't fix everything, don't try to! Be a Parent First - Most of the time you can be your teen's friend as well as her parent but your responsibility is in the parenting. If you're in a situation where you can't be both, be her parent! There are special circumstances when we need more help taking with our teens. We've compiled a list of great resources for some of those times. Step-Parenting
- "Step-parenting does not test how good of a person you
are. It tests your patience, your sanity, and the very core
of your soul." |
INTERNET SAFETY
Do
not have a computer in a child's room or somewhere isolated in your
house, have it where you can see it.
Make a point of learning enough about the computer so that
you know what your child is doing and where they'er going online.
Don't
use your real names or identifying information in your email addresses,
this can protect kids from predators as well as helping protect all
of us from identity fraud.
Never agree to meet anyone who you've met online without a
parent's permission or supervision, this will help ensure that people
are who they say they are.If
you use any IM sites like MSN messenger or ICQ, don't add people to
your contacts list unless you know them in person. Don't
give out your friends, or enemies email address to anyone else online
JICK - Just in Case Kit
Just like the Earthquake kits we send to school with our children every year, this kit will likely never be used. But just like those earthquake kits, it's always good to be prepared. You child will want to know what this is all about. Explain what the kit is for in terms that they can understand without scaring them. You may even want to let them make a Just-in-Case Kit for you. Make it fun! Click here for more information to create your JICK kit!